First, I have to start by saying that judging ourselves is one of our most effective most powerful tools that we have to stay comfortable. The better you are at judging yourself the more successful you are at being stuck. Judging yourself limits all other possibilities so it feels familiar and ¨safe.¨ But as you will see, it is also a sign of your superpower.
The people I work with are masters of judgement so I suspect you are great at criticizing and judging yourself too. The best judging they do is of themselves. Sometimes it runs over and they start judging others but mostly they are REALLY good at focusing it right on themselves.
It´s most interesting because if someone is really good at judging themselves it is a sign that they are really skilled at focusing their energy … unfortunately it is focused on keeping themselves limited at the moment BUT when redirected they focus that energy and create amazing things.
I have been there. My judge, who I´ve named Luigi, is a badass. He looks like one of those 1 inch tall Lego guys with a mustache and a very small fire hose – he uses it blow fog into my mind when he wants me to be unclear and confused. Small but insanely powerful, he used to control a huge portion of my mind but now I give him a ton of vacation time to chill out.
The judge is your subconscious mind and you can learn to work with it. When you can lower the volume on the judge, you will create bigger. You will love more, be fulfilled, have more fun, think clearly, trust yourself and live by your own rules. More life, more power and more ease.
In the simple form, here´s how to stop judging yourself:
Be curious, playful, and kind to yourself – all of my work follows these tenets. Otherwise personal growth becomes another way to judge that you are not enough.
- Kind: Acknowledge how great you are at judging yourself! Win – You are great at this! And be kind to yourself, you are not alone, everyone I have worked with and known has overdosed on self judgement. This sounds silly but it is vital. Let go of your resistance that you treat yourself so terribly.
- Playful: Celebrating it, and not resisting it, can open you up to possibility. Give your judge or critic a name. Then you can remember that it is one part of your psyche that is judging – those crazy mean thoughts come from that little character. I promise every client who names their judge starts laughing and feeling lighter.
- Curious: Get really curious about what the judge is saving you from because he IS serving you somehow. See if you can identify what would be possible if you didn’t judge yourself all the time. Who would you be and what would you be capable of if all your energy wasn´t sucked out of you by your inner judge? What if you stop believing the self judgements and start hanging with people who see the real you? Ask more questions, come for a retreat, join us in The Change Militia – all of these are curious explorations of your potential beyond all those criticisms and judgements.
As long as the judge keeps running the show you are successfully staying small – I guarantee it. When Luigi is running the show I forget how amazing I am, I limit all my possibilities and then worst of all I start attracting in more of what I don’t want. Argh.
See if you can explore those three elements and give your critic a vacation. If you need some outside perspective, set up a free call with me here.
I love working with people who have a strong persistent self judge BECAUSE once we take all the energy expended on judgement and turn it towards what you really want, there is great success unleashed!